10 Things You Can Do to Make Strangers Not Hate You

1.  If you almost cut someone off in traffic and then the person is nice enough to let you in, give them a wave.  This happened to me this morning and it irked me.

2.  If you are at a buffet and don't know what you want, take a step back.  Unless you have a severe vision problem, you can see the food from 3 feet back.  Let the people on a mission do their thing.  Looky loos are the worst.

3.  Fellow chunky dudes.  If your shirt doesn't cover your gut, it doesn't fit.  And it doesn't cover your guy unless you can lift up your arms and not see gut.  I know it's a struggle.  I battle this myself.  But either hit the gym or buy bigger shirts.  (A guy at our remote yesterday had a beer gut that would rival Chris Farley and was wearing a shirt that cut off above the belly button.  Not cool bro.  Not cool.)

4.  Along the same lines, if you want to wear a jersey from your favorite team, make sure that maybe you could pass for an athlete at a quick glance.  If Vince Wilfork can't wear that jersey, neither can you.  This one has some more leeway, but you get the picture.

5.  If you don't know how to work your computer, either learn or give up.  Please alleviate the stress on people in the know.  This also goes for cell phones, microwaves, DVD players, etc. I know technology changes by the day.  But take a little time.  Read the manual.  You have a 30 day grace period from the time you get a machine to ask questions.  After that, it gets bothersome. 

6.  When you go to work out, don't wear jeans.  Not functional at all and everyone will think you have a screw loose.  Plus you run a serious risk of splitting your pants.

7.   Other gym etiquette for dudes.  No one wants to see the outline of your jewels.  Wear some loose shorts.  Also, there should be at least a 6 foot bubble for drying off post shower.  There's plenty of space.

8.   If you are into musicals, that's cool.  But don't be in one ALL THE TIME.  You don't have to sing all day.  Chances are no one will join in behind you in a dance number.  I could be wrong here, but I've never seen it happen.

9.   Don't blame the people at the airport ticket counter for weather delays.  The reason your flight is delayed in bad weather is so that you don't die in a plane crash.  They are doing you a favor. Enjoy your stay in a new city.  Or your extra time in your own city.  If they could control the weather, airlines would make tons more money than they do right now. 

10.  Balding guys, no matter how long you grow your hair around the bald spot, everyone can still tell you are bald.  Get some Rogaine and embrace your situation.  Go see a stylist or barber and get some advice.  You won't regret it.


Most of you reading this probably don't do any of this.  But pass it along.  Help a friend who might be doing one of these things.