Things I just don't get

I consider myself to be a reasonably "with the times" kind of a guy. In fact I am not a fan of the phrase "Things were so much better back when." The world has problems, but I never think that the whole world is falling apart. Things are cyclical and may be bad now, but they will change. Most of the time for the better. But two things that don't change ever, and I have never really been entertained by, are parades and fireworks. I just don't see the draw. My parents stuck me in about 30 parades as a youth. I always said I hated it, yet they kept doing it. I had a great childhood, but if a therapist ever asks me what the worst part was I'll say it was all those damned parades. It's just decorated traffic, moving slowly, throwing stuff at you. I will make an exception, Mardi Gras. But that is because if you are in the French Quarter during Mardi Gras, the parade is very secondary to what you will be watching. Trust me. I have found many people that agree with me on my "anti-parade" stance. But on this next issue, I may stand alone.

I am less than enthusiastic about watching fireworks. I've seen it. It's pretty much the same every time. Yet every year on the 4th of July, I am made to stand outside and watch them. I'd rather do something else. I understand that most people love fireworks. I just don't. And no one can ever give me a good reason why I should like them. I always get "It's the 4th of July." Or "I don't know. Just watch them." Those are not reasons. They are simply statements. So I propose a new tradition for the extremely quiet "Fireworks are boring" minority. Letting us continue to eat and drink without making us stare up at the sky watching the same thing every year. I call it celebrating my Independence Day independently. I'll catch up with you after the fireworks. Well, if I haven't fallen asleep.

That is all. God Bless America.